Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Red Flags and Green Flags

"Hello Hello Hello Ladies, how you doinnnn? ...Dat nigga crazy girl, don't say nuthin toooeemmmm" Shawty Lo feat. Jeezy and Wayne

This happens to be MY blog. So, regardless of who reads I intend to write whatever I feel like writing.  Even so...I still hope the person with whom this post is about, doesn't read this....lol.  Oh well...Its not like hes on the computer very much anyway.   So for the sake of all purposes lets just call him Fuzzy Sweater....FS for short.  Here is the story...

I met FS at a club.  I met FS at a club right after I had left another club. During that time I was actually  looking for a guy that I had met at the previous club.  So, technically FS found me.... because I surely wasn't looking for him. 

I thought this was a good sign...I always thought that meeting the person you're suppose to be with would be like that....unexpected... like, waiting for the Second Coming of Christ... No one knows the time or place when its going to happen, but you always have to be prepared. 

Needless to say, he came up behind me and proceeded to dance with me, while whispering into my ear, "just dance with me, my boy is watching right behind me, don't play me out."  I of course thought this was rather cute so I accepted the dance.  

Fast forward to the information I gained about Mr. Fuzzy Sweater, named so endearingly from the feeling that hit my cheek when I accidentally fell into his chest while giving him my business card. What can I say, Im a bit clumsy and it was dark. & What can I say, Business Cards seem more 'grown up' after you turn 24.  Easier than whipping out the nearly dead Razor, and a bit more classy I think.

The Information/Green Flags
1.He fit my height requirements...6 ft or above
2.He graduated from college  (A Christian School at that in 4 years...possibly 4.5, I cant remember...either way, the man got out, and can probably quote more scriptures than T.D. Jakes)
3. He has a good full time salary paying job that is LEGAL. 
4. Fairly good looking and very athletic
5. He made me laugh

These are the top 5 Flags that I deemed were green.  
Now the flag system goes as follows....you CANNOT base any full decisions on any one Green flag.   However, you MUST base ALL full decisions on any of the Red Flags.  
Red flags are the bright loud signs that tell you as my close friend L. Stacey puts it, 
"DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200!" 
The green flags are just there so you can add them up until you realize that there are enough to know that this person is worthy to be with you.

Now, let me explain something.  I've been through enough events with stupid dudes to know how to notice the green flags and the red flags by now....Or so I thought..  

However I failed to remember what my hair stylist Angie once told me, "Girl they're are always different red flags... the system comes up with New and Improved Red Flags!"

What Angie failed to tell me was that there can be so many great Green flags, that they can blind you from seeing the not so obvious "new and improved" red flags....
  
Like I previously stated....everyone has a different set of top green flags....yet being a young black successful woman today....a degree and a job are commonly top requested green flags considering a large portion of the black men in America don't have their degree in anything except bullsh*t, are involved in illegal things-drugs-guns-etc, have 3+ different baby's mama's, are jobless (because they CHOOSE too) living off their own mama, are dead, or are in jail....like our good friend Orlando...and then you have the war in Iraq....need I continue?

So here is my conclusion.  For the sake of privacy it is completely unnecessary for me to explain the events thereafter.  It is completely unnecessary for me to explain how I found out the red flags about FS, or even what the red flags where.  In all honesty FS isn't such a terrible guy, he just didn't happen to be the guy for me, and I was terribly blinded by his height, degree, and job.  

So let this be a warning to you.  Keep your top green flags, but always be on the look out for the hidden red ones and don't be blinded by a good job, a degree, or a soft fuzzy sweater for that matter....because it could all blow up in your face once even the first red flag pops up.
 
'TIll then...always be prepared...for both the Second Coming as well as the first coming of the one who's green flags add up to a worthy amount and are not counteracted by hidden red ones.

3 comments:

GL said...

Good God I think this was the best post yet!
…taking notes…

Ha Ha! “new and improved red flags…”

Classic.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know it was so hard to find a black guy with a job and a degree. I say you need to branch out to other races of men cuz as much as black women hope and pray for a black men, black men are very willing to go to the other side.

Anonymous said...

Good words.